he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
