She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
