it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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