You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
