sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
