i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize