Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
