Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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