I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
