the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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