ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
