$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
