Already got asked if we're dating
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
