I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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