I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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