I want to walk on stilts...naked
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
