What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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