I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
