the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
