What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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