so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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