God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
please come you make the beer taste better
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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