marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
