Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
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i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
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Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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