you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
