We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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