how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
