Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
