Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?