Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore