I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
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He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird