You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
