I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
