Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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