I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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