I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize