i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
