You're my little dorito
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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