my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
