I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
