i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We don't watch enough power rangers
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
