you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
