I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
