Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
