Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
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SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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