dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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