If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Randomize
