I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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