it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize