saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
