There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
