Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
