I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
