I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
