Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
