but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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