They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we should paint friendship bongs
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