But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
MIDGETS
????
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
