we made out on top of his cat.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
