did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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