Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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