Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
